Super Smash Camp
by BloodRedPrince
Summary: Our favorite video game characters are training at a camp over the summer for their future adventures. Co-written by PrinceVeggie.
1. Welcome to Camp!

**Hello everybody. This is a story my friend and I have been working on for a while, and we've finally gotten past the planning stage and are finished with the first chapter, so here you go. This isn't a serious story, in fact it's a parody, so if you're going to take it seriously, then please leave. And if you don't know any of the characters in the story...**

**Google is your friend.**

**Also, each camper in this story is around 12-14 years old, so not every character is going to be the same age as in the game s/he is from.**

**ooo**

**Megaman's POV**

Super Smash Camp. That was the name of the place Dr. Light had sent me for the summer. A place where you could train to be a hero and hang out with other people aiming to become heroes. It was also a pretty small and exclusive place, with only about 28 campers including myself. I was actually the only new camper this year, with everyone else returning from last year. Obviously since I was new, I had some trouble navigating around the camp grounds, and since I had nobody to help me, I ended up arriving a few minutes late to the gym. The building was huge; it was around 40 feet high, and there was one single large room with a wooden floor and white walls. The back of the gym had treadmills, weights, and pretty much any exercising tool you could think of.

As soon as I stepped in, I noticed a huge amount of students wearing a black sweatshirt and red shorts; obviously that was the uniform for gym class. I was carrying one of those uniforms in my backpack, and right when I was going to ask the coaches if I could go to the locker room and change my clothes, I instead was greeted by one of the two coaches, and this one was a tan and muscular man with blonde hair and a ponytail, wearing a white tank top with white baggy pants. I noticed his name tag had the name "Sabin Figaro" written on it.

"Hey you in the blue suit, you're late. Now drop and give us 50 push-ups," Mr. Figaro demanded.

"I'm sorry sir, I'm new here so I had troub-" I tried to explain before getting interrupted by the other coach Mr. Guile, who had a weird blonde flattop hairstyle, along with a tank top and baggy pants like Mr. Figaro's, except his were green instead of white, not to mention he was pretty pale compared to Mr. Figaro, though the show was really stolen by the American flag tattooed at the top of both his arms.

"We didn't ask for a story, now be a man and get on the floor," he shouted at me.

Everyone was staring at me. I was delaying the class, so I decided to just do the push-ups. As I got down, I accidentally transformed my hand into my mega buster and fired a plasma shot at the floor. It deflected off the floor and beamed towards the ceiling, hitting a chandelier. As the chandelier crashed down, everybody jumped back to avoid getting hit except for an oversized green toad who ended up getting hit by it.

After a brief moment of silence, an anthropomorphic orange fox shouted out "Holy crap, the new guy just dropped a chandelier on Slippy!"

With that, practically everyone just started cheering and screaming "Yay!"

I was kind of confused by the fact everyone was happy about the fact one of their fellow campers just got injured. Granted, I was new here and unaware of who Slippy was, or just how annoying other campers probably found him, but did having a heavy chandelier dropped on someone, even someone you despise, really warrant celebration?

"Hey kid, look what you just did! You're in trouble for this!" Mr. Figaro shouted at me.

"At least the coaches care," I thought to myself, not even caring about the fact I was in trouble.

"I'm very sorry about that, I didn't mean to hurt him and I-" I tried to apologize.

"What are you talking about? We couldn't care less about him. We're mad because you damaged the chandelier! Do you know how much that cost? Now drop down again and keep doing push-ups for the next hour!" Mr. Guile replied to me.

**ooo**

An hour's worth of push-ups. That's how many push-ups I did during my first session of gym during the first day of camp while everyone else was busy lifting weights or running on treadmills or climbing a rock wall. Finally, it was 9:20 AM, and Mr. Figaro blew on his whistle. "Class dismissed," he called out, those two words echoing throughout the gym.

With that, most of my fellow campers made their way to the locker rooms. I got up off the ground. I was feeling tired; those push-ups had definitely drained me out of my energy (And I'm a robot, so the amount of energy I always have is greater than any human or animal's). I just stood there a minute, and grabbed my backpack. I started to make my way towards the exit, when suddenly I felt someone tap me on the shoulder three times.

I turned around to see somebody with anime-esque spiky red hair handing me an E-tank. He must have been handing me one because he figured I need the energy more than he does.

"Uh, thank you," I told him, grabbing it from his hand.

I gulped down the energy drink in a matter of seconds, and suddenly I felt good as new. Just then, I was greeted by a large blue hedgehog wearing red shoes.

"Hey, you must be the new kid; Megaman's the name right?" he greeted. I nodded my head in response.

"Sorry that was your first impression of this place; the coaches can be douchebags sometimes. Anyhow, my name's Sonic, you probably noticed the magic I was working on the treadmill, didn't you?"

"Actually I didn't really notice you. I was a bit preoccupied," I admitted.

"Well that's too bad, maybe next time. Anyhow, this here is my buddy Crono. We'll be sharing a cabin, so I thought we should get to know each other. Say, you received your schedule, right?" Sonic asked.

"Yeah, it says technology lessons start in about half an hour. I'm not sure where to go, though," I responded.

"Okay then, we could give you a tour of this place and bring you to the computer lab at the end," Sonic offered.

"I appreciate the offer, but you don't need to go out of your way for me," I sincerely told him.

"..." was Crono's response.

"Alright Crono, if you insist," I replied to him.

**ooo**

"And here in the southern section of SSC, we have the cabin area," Sonic informed me as we arrived.

"Since there are twenty-eight campers here, each cabin is supposed to hold five campers. However, our numbers are a bit uneven, so cabin number six will only be holding three campers. And that's us," Sonic said, clearly happy about the fact he was chosen to be in the least occupied cabin.

"..." was Crono's response.

"Oh yeah, Crono, thanks for the reminder. I forgot to mention that every few nights or so we start a campfire in front of these cabins and tell scary stories," Sonic started, "Will you be up for some scary stories tonight, Megaman?"

"U-uh, I don't know. I'm kind of afraid of campfire stories, they give me nightmares," I nervously replied.

"Come on Megaman, it'll be a good way to meet everyone and introduce yourself. Besides, there'll be roasted marshmellows," Sonic said, trying to convince me.

"Alright, I guess it wouldn't hurt to go," I replied.

"That's the spirit, Megaman! Now let's continue the tour," Sonic exclaimed.

I nodded my head. I wasn't really looking forward to the campfire that would take place tonight, but keeping it on my mind the whole day certainly wouldn't help.

**ooo**

"Right here in the middle of SSC is the gym building. Obviously you're already familiar with it. If we go a bit north, we'll reach the doctor's office," Sonic explained to me.

"..." was Crono's response.

"You're right Crono; it _is _a good thing that the doctor's office is right next to the gym," I stated.

**ooo**

Next, Sonic and Crono showed me the west section of SSC, which was where the cafeteria was located. Taking me a bit west of the cafeteria, I was then shown where the staff worked in their offices.

"Well, if you're ever looking for Scoutmaster Rayden, Counselor Cossack, or any staff member, this is where to go," Sonic pointed out.

"..." was Crono's response.

"No, Crono. Raiden is the wimp with the girly-ass face who would need 95% of his body to be implanted with machines to be the least bit cool," Sonic ranted.

"Wow Sonic, I take it you really don't like that guy," I commented.

"Yeah, and water is wet. Let's just move on," Sonic replied.

**ooo**

In the east section, Sonic and Crono showed me the dojo (Which was used for martial arts training) and the danger room (Which, according to Sonic was quote "used for mission simulations [and _totally _not a stolen idea from Charles Xavier]") before moving on to the very north section of SSC which was where the computer lab was. When we arrived, Crono held open the door for Sonic and me. As we stepped into the small building full of computers, tables and chairs, a quick glance told me it was about 9:40 AM, and we were the first three people to arrive (After all, with ten minutes left, everyone was probably still having a conversation with their friends outside).

What really gained my attention as I walked in was the sight of a weird pale man with black hair and emotionless eyes wearing a white shirt and blue jeans, but no shoes. He was spinning around on his chair while eating a banana with a strange song playing on his computer. The song's lyrics went something like...

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring- banana phone._

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring- banana phone._

_I've got this feeling,_

_so appealing!_

_For us to get together and sing, sing!_

As strange as I thought the sight was, Sonic and Crono thought nothing of it. "Is he really in charge of this lab?", I asked Sonic quietly.

Although I tried to keep my voice down, he still heard me. He paused the song, turned in my direction and replied to me. "Yes I am. Just call me Mr. Ryuzaki."

With that, the music was resumed, and he was back to spinning on his chair while eating a banana.

"Mr. Ryuzaki does this everyday, and the instant that class starts, he stops and gets down to business. When I first went here, I also wondered what's up with him, but it's best you just pretend he's acting normal," Sonic suggested.

Taking his advice, I just found a seat next to the two of them and turned on the computer and moniter.

After around ten minutes, everyone had arrived (with either nobody really noticing how crazy Mr. Ryuzaki was acting, or everybody just not caring) and the clock ticked to read exactly 9:50 AM. Just like that, the music stopped. Mr. Ryuzaki dropped everything, put the entire banana peel in his mouth, swallowed it, and turned around to face all of us.

**ooo**

Nothing really interesting happened during the hour and twenty minutes of technology lessons (Unless you count a grown man writing a romantic My Little Pony fanfiction and making it noticable to the entire class by saying all the words being typed out loud as strange. The oddest part was, at the end he told all of us not to look up his story since it was for adults only, but really; what kind of adult watches My Little Pony, let alone reads fanfiction of it?). All we did was sign up on SSC's website and fill out a questionnaire about ourselves online, presumably to test the computers out. Next up, it was time to go to the dojo. It was also a pretty small building.

I was the first one to step inside, with Sonic and Crono following behind. The floor was covered by a soft mattress, and the walls were all white, with a symbol painted on the front wall reading "ryu" in Japanese, which happened to mean "dragon" in English.

I looked around a bit. I didn't see anybody, nor did Sonic and Crono. We were a bit confused; wasn't there supposed to be someone here by now?

Ten minutes passed, one camper with blue hair came in and read the symbol on the wall. "Ryu, huh? That's my name!"

"Yeah, and it's also the name of our sensei, remember? They didn't paint the symbol there for you," Sonic pointed out.

Twenty minutes passed, a few campers joined us and asked where our sensei was. We didn't know what to tell them.

Thirty minutes passed, everyone was here, and still we stood impatiently.

"Where is this guy anyways?" Sonic said fairly loudly.

"Just hanging out," called a voice from above.

Everybody (myself included) looked up, startled from hearing that voice. Down came a ninja with a red scarf, brown hair and a purple gi. He must have been lying against the top of the ceiling in the shadowy part of the dojo, because otherwise at least one person would have noticed him before. There he was, standing upside down and using the ceiling as a floor.

"Welcome, everyone. I, Strider Hiryu, shall be your new sensei this year," he greeted us.

**ooo**

An hour and twenty minutes passed by consisting of us learning from Mr. Hiryu the following lessons:

-Why using your fingers to strike an enemy was better than using your fist.

-How sliding into an enemy was a good idea, and also why sliding was _way _better than dashing.

-How to perform the most awkward jumps in history.

-To only run when you have to descend down stairs.

Needless to say, most of us were suspicious of whether or not these were actually good ideas, and why we were learning this instead of how to hang onto walls or something useful of that nature, but he's the sensei, so who were we to judge?

Finally, it was 1:00 PM. We were supposed to arrive at the danger room within thirty minutes. I wanted to go there immediately, but Sonic and Crono had other business to attend to and left me on my own to get to it.

"We're going to get a bag of marshmallows from the cafeteria. We'll meet you there," Sonic told me as he left.

I stepped inside the door of what was yet another small building, only having one room (That was above average size, but a room nevertheless), and immediately I noticed the awesome technology. There were simulation computers with gray helmets attached to them with wires you attached to your head so you'd plug your mind into a virtual reality. There were about fourteen of those machines, and I was in awe; supposably, they came from alien planets with technology far more advanced than our's.

"Amazing, isn't it? These are from planet Venom; I got a bunch of them as a gift for saving it from Andross all those years ago," an elderly rabbit-like creature said as he approached me from behind. I took it he was in charge of this place.

Reading his name tag, I determined his name was Peppy Hare, or as all the campers (presumably) called him, Mr. Hare.

"There are still thirty minutes left to go outside, what are you doing inside here anyways?"

I shrugged. "I don't really have anyone to hang out with at the moment."

He just nodded and took his seat, waiting for the clock to read 1:30 PM.

**ooo**

Eventually everyone arrived, and we got to use the VR simulators. Since there were more campers than machines, we had to take turns using them. I used a VR machine first to test out a racing simulator by putting the gray helmet on my head. There I was racing in a kart across a rainbow floor, with large turtles around my size racing against me. They threw bananas at me, causing my kart to spin around. It was a strange fantasy, yet it felt so real for the forty or so minutes I spent driving around in what seemed to be a rainbow floor in outer space while shooting at turtles. Before I knew it, the helmet I wore was removed from my head, and it was time for the other half of the campers to take their seat and test the simulation.

With that, everyone else who used the machines got off, after all it was the other campers' turns. We just sat aside near the door on chairs, waiting for the session to end. I could actually see the monitors attached to the computers, and I could see what everyone was doing within the machines. It was kind of like watching somebody play a video game. There were magazines placed on each of our chairs, so all of us had something to read. I ended up receiving and reading an old black-and-white magazine about early 20th century Universal films.

"Great, another reminder of the campfire stories I'll hear tonight," I thought to myself.

**ooo**

**Hey guys, BloodRedPrince here. I'd like to thank PrinceVeggie for his help on this fanfiction. So, did you think this was a rocky start, or did you enjoy it? Please read and review.**


	2. Tales of Campfire

**Author's note: Hello guys and happy Halloween! Since I know I'm going to get this question from someone, I may as well explain it now: janken is what "rock, paper, scissors" is called in Japan. It's also much less of a pain to write than "rock, paper, scissors"**

**Megaman's POV**

Well, it was officially 2:00 AM, and the day was over. Sonic, Crono and I walked outside, making our way to the cafeteria. We ended up starting a conversation about our VR simulations, and I began by telling them about mine.

"Wow, and I thought my simulation where I raced ice monsters inside a volcano was weird," Sonic commented in response to the description of my simulation.

"..." was Crono's response.

Sonic and I stopped in our tracks when we heard what Crono said.

"Okay then..." Sonic replied, clearly disturbed, "Let's just go on and never bring this up again."

**ooo**

The cafeteria wasn't too large, but it also wasn't all too small. There were five square wooden tables scattered across the white tiled floor with six chairs surrounding each. A counter was set up leading to a kitchen, but only staff members were allowed to enter the door that was on the side. A couple dozen or so campers were lined up behind the counter waiting to receive their food. We lined up with the other campers, and I ended up being almost all the way in the back of the line since we took a while getting to this place.

When it was my turn, a man with a tall brown hat that cast a shadow over his face (thus showing none of it other than glowing yellow eyes) and a blue robe that covered all of his body (excluding his hands which were covered by brown leather gloves, and possibly his feet) gave me an orange tray that would require two hands to hold. He then put a small black bowl on it, poured some ramen noodles in it, and proceeded to place a ham sandwich with cheese on it as well as a small plastic container of salad. It was then followed by an E-tank along with a napkin that had plastic spoons and forks on top of it.

Thanking him for the meal, I left to find the table my new friends were sitting at. I spotted them waving their hands in the air; they were at the table closest to the door, so I walked over with my lunch in hand. When I arrived at the table, I saw that Sonic and Crono weren't alone; a large pink thing with red shoes was sitting on the chair that was on the top-left (from my angle). I sat on the chair next to it, with Sonic sitting directly in front of me and Crono sitting directly in front of the pink thing.

"Hey Megaman, I take it you haven't met Kirby yet," Sonic greeted me.

"Kirby?" I said as I turned towards it, "Sorry, are you male or female? I can't tell."

"Male!" it responded in a high-pitched voice, "Want to see my power?"

"Sure," I replied.

Out of nowhere, Kirby opened his mouth extremely wide and began sucking in his tray. The tray flew into his mouth, food and all, and he didn't even need to chew it; he just swallowed all of it in his large mouth as if he was swallowing an insect that flew into his mouth. I stared in awe, taking in what just happened.

"Need more food!" Kirby announced to us.

"You just ate all of your lunch, including your tray. But you're still hungry," Sonic said as Crono shot him an angry stare.

"..." was Crono's response.

"Sorry Crono, I just couldn't resist stealing your line there," Sonic apologized.

"Here Kirby, you can have my sandwich. I don't care much for ham," I offered.

Kirby shot down my offer. "No! Kirby want cookies and ice cream and candy!"

"Kirby, how many times do we have to go through this? We're being trained to take on supervillains and become heroes; we need to eat healthy food- and that means no sweets!" Sonic lectured.

As I began eating my salad, two tall figures in armour came by. They were the only people in line to be behind me. One of them wore black sunglasses, a yellow scarf, had a shield on his back, and overall had armour from his boots to his helmet that were pretty similar to mine, although his armour was several shades of red and gray rather than blue and cyan like mine. The other person was slightly taller and was wearing dark yellow-orange armour with a somewhat dark red helmet that had a slightly transparent green visor on it.

"Mind if we sit here?" a feminine voice asked.

It took me a minute to register the fact that the person who said it was in the yellow armour. Strangely, it seemed as though this person was the female I just heard. "Go ahead," I replied.

She sat down next to me while the guy with the shades sat next to Sonic. Sonic looked at the camper sitting next to him and then back at me. "I swear, it looks like you two could be his brother, Protoman," Sonic stated.

"Huh. Well that's totally a coincidence," Protoman replied.

I looked at him for about a second to see the uncanny resemblence between us before the feminine voice appeared again and broke my train of thought. "I'm Samus, and it's nice to meet you Megaman. I hear you saved Monsteropolis last year; that's really cool."

I blushed a bit as she said that; I'd never been congratulated face-to-face by anybody besides Dr. Light or Roll before. "Yeah, I just got lucky. The robots I fought were weak to each other's weapons; Dr. Light designed them that way before Dr. Wily stole them. Dr. Wily even stole Dr. Light's machines that were weak to the robot masters' weapons, so all I had to do was beat Cutman and my mission was suddenly that much easier. But I have to train extra hard here or I won't be a match next time; I doubt Dr. Wily will make that mistake next time!"

Protoman burst out laughing when I said that last sentence. "What's so funny?" I asked.

"Oh, it's nothing really. But wouldn't it just be hilarious if Dr. Wily was stupid enough to make that mistake with _his own robots_ and end up making your job easier?" he replied with a smile on his face.

"Heh, I guess that would. But it's just wishful thinking..." I said.

**ooo**

I ended up leaving with Sonic and Crono at around 2:30 PM. The rest of the day wasn't too exciting. I took off my helmet and left it next on a small table next to the brown couch I shared with my friends; I wouldn't be needing it for the rest of the day. We mostly just sat on the couch in our cabin and watched television. Crono won the janken match and got to turn on whatever he wanted. Since there was a DVD player, Crono inserted disc 1 of a show called "Elfen Lied" that he borrowed from Protoman. We had to turn it off after a while, considering how gross the show was. After all, it contained such content as an adorable little puppy getting kicked to a wall and being beaten to death with a vase by little kids before having their brains destroyed. Do yourself a favor and never watch it.

While we were encouraged to do such things as visit the gym, it wasn't mandatory. Therefore, I decided to go upstairs and lie in one of the three beds and read a book I picked up from the library (Which was actually nothing more than a closet in the danger room full of unorganized books) called "Do Robots Dream of Electric Sheep" instead. Reading the book sure made time pass to the point that I barely even noticed six hours passed.

9:00 PM; that was when Sonic came up to get me. "Come on Megaman, Crono and the others are setting up the campfire right now! Follow me!"

"O-okay Sonic, I'm coming," I nervously replied as I got off the bed and placed a bookmark on the page I just finished.

After following Sonic downstairs, we went through the front door. When we walked out, I spotted something like twenty people sitting around one fairly large campfire; it looked as though you could fit a whole person in that roaring flame.

"Hello everyone, this is Megaman; he saved Monsteropolis from certain destruction last year, let's all give him a round of applause!" Sonic said, formally introducing me to a crowd of people clapping.

I must admit, getting applauded certainly lifted my spirits, but it wasn't really taking my mind off the stories that would probably give me nightmares. I went around the group of people, personally shaking each of their hands as they introduced themselves to me.

"Misty's the name, catching Pokémon is the game!"

"I'm Link, and it's a pleasure to meet you."

"I like your buster Megaman; I've been designing one for myself. I'm kind of a wiz when it comes to technology. Call me Lucca."

"Marle will do. I can't stand formal titles, so you don't have to call me "Miss" or anything."

"Honestly, I'm not quite sure who I really am, but as far as I know my name is Terra. Terra Branford."

"I'm princess Zelda. Like Marle, I'm fine if you don't call address me as such; just Zelda is fine."

"I am the latest heir to the Belmont legacy; I, Simon, am pleased to meet you."

"Hello, I'm Vivi. I look like I'm only a few years old, but I'm actually the same age as you. And no, the man in the cafeteria isn't my father; I just look the same because we're both black mages."

"You can call me Dagger. If Zidane tells you we're a couple, he's lying."

"I'm Amy Rose, and if you get in my way be prepared to face the wrath of my hammer!"

"I'm Ryu. Ryu Bateson, that is; I have no relation to our martial arts teacher from last year."

"Hey kid, I'm Zidane Tribal, and even with this monkey tail I'm the most chivalrous ladies' man in the world! So... did Dagger say anything about me?"

"I'm Ness, and I'm not as young as I look; heck, I bet I'm older than you!"

"Call me Raiden. Despite what you may have been told, I am _not _a wimp! In fact, I'm way cooler than everyone else here!"

And just like that, I was introduced to the majority of my fellow campers.

"Sorry, but not everyone came today. Fox and Falco refused to be part of something so childish, Slippy's still in the doctor's office, Peach is too stuck-up to even consider coming, Glenn is busy elsewhere, Paula doesn't approve of these "satanic activities", and I'm not even sure about that Lloyd Irving guy. As for Knuckles, he told me, quote: 'I would rather die than willingly hang out with you faggots," Sonic informed me.

**ooo**

Everybody had introduced themselves to me, and all of us were able to sit down to start telling stories.

"Alright everyone, we've been away for nine months, so tell the best story you've heard since we last saw each other," Zidane declared.

"Yeah, I'll go first!" Ness responded, "This one is called 'The Vanishing Hitchhiker' and it's kind of creepy."

**ooo**

_Ness' story: _

_A man was on his way to a party, driving down a lonely country road, when he spotted a girl with her thumb out. He stopped to ask her if she needed a ride, and she told him that she did._

_Since it was a very cold night, she was wearing a purple overcoat. He asked her if she wanted to go to the party over at Pine Street, and she accepted his invitation._

_They partied until it got very late, and then he drove her to her home. As he drove back to his own home, he realized the girl had forgotten her overcoat. However, he was quite far away so he decided to come back tomorrow._

_The next morning, he arrived at the girl's home and knocked on her door. An old lady came out, and when he told her about the overcoat and the party at Pine Street, the woman had a strange reply._

_"That's very odd... that's my daughter's overcoat, but she died twelve years ago. How could she have left it with you?" the woman said._

_"W-what? You're yanking my chain, aren't you?" he responded._

_"No, no. It's true; she died in a car accident at Pine Street twelve years ago; you can even check her name in the cemetary Cheryl Manson."_

_Thinking the old woman was insane, he walked to the cemetary with her, and she pointed to her daughter's grave. It read:_

_**Cheryl Manson**_

_**1984-2000**_

_Shedding a few tears, the old lady walked back home as the old man just stood there in shock. Deciding he didn't care about the explanation of last night's events, he simply put the overcoat over the cross-chapped grave and left._

**ooo**

"So, what did you think?" Ness said.

"Well, it wasn't particularly scary. It wasn't actually more sad than anything. I did like the bittersweet ending, though," I replied.

"Yeah, I thought it was pretty sad as well," Vivi told Ness.

"Hey everyone, why don't we give Megaman a chance?" Samus said, causing me to tense up.

"But Samus, I don't really don't many scary stories-" I tried to say before Protoman cut in.

"It's okay Megaman, just give us your best."

With that, everyone was looking in my direction.

"Okay... um... well t-there's this myth about B-Bloody Mary, and... well, if you say her name three times in a mirror then she, then she, uh... she comes out of the mirror and slices your head off. My little sister told me that story and it scared me. Then she locked us in the bathroom and said 'Bloody Mary' in the mirror three times, and that, uh, really scared me," I told everyone.

After a very brief moment of silence, almost everyone burst into laughter, and I was left shaking my head wondering what was so funny.

"Oh Megaman, that's rich! You were scared of something your little sister didn't even fear," Zidane spoke between laughter.

"..." was Crono's response.

After he said that, a lot of laughter (and by that I mean everyone's laughter except for Sonic's) died down.

"Crono's right. Sorry Megaman, we shouldn't have teased you about it. It's clear you don't like scary stories, do you want to go inside now?" Link apologized.

"It's okay, I can take some more stories," I replied, not wanting to look like an even bigger wuss in front of everyone.

"Alright, so far we have a story that's sad, and a story that's funny. Anyone got something scary?" Sonic asked.

"Yeah, I do," Simon answered, "I call it "The Staircase" and this story kept _me _up at night."

**ooo**

_Simon's story:_

_As Lisa lied down on her bed, she suddenly heard a very deep and emotionless voice whisper to her._

_"I am coming for you Lisa. I am on the first step, Lisa."_

_She thought she was imagining things and tried to go to sleep for a few seconds._

_"I am a few steps up, Lisa."  
_

_In shock, she lied there._

_"I am halfway there Lisa."_

_Within a few seconds, she managed to snap out of the shock, but as she opened her mouth the emotionless, deep whisper appeared again. _

_"I am going to kill you Lisa."_

_"MOM! DAD! HELP ME!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, causing them to dash up the stairs._

_When they arrived, they asked what was wrong, and when she told her story, her parents thought she was hallucinating._

_"Get some sleep, there's nobody here," the father assured her as they left._

_She stared at the ceiling, hoping the voice wouldn't reappear._

_Creeeeeeeeak..._

_The door opened. She looked to her left in pure terror; she was frozen in fear._

_"Rest in piece, Lisa," were the final words she heard out of the deep, emotionless, whispering voice._

_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!_

_Her parents ran up stairs again and discovered that Lisa was missing. They never saw her again, but that scream rang in their heads countless times. Every time they ran upstairs however, Lisa was nowhere to be found._

**ooo**

At this point, I was scared out of my mind, and it seemed at least a few others were too.

"Thanks for that story. Now I won't be able to sleep at night," Dagger commented.

"I think we'll have to sleep in shifts tonight," Marle said to nobody in particular.

"Fox and the others are lucky they didn't hear that story," Raiden remarked.

"Pft, that story sucked! Here's mine," Sonic commented, "I like to call it, 'The Licked Hand', and it's about a thirteen-year old girl who was left home alone one night with her dog, a Belgian Malinois."

**ooo**

_Sonic's story:_

_After a thirteen-year old girl got left home by her parents, she went down to her basement and locked all of the windows and doors. However, there was one window that simply wouldn't close all the way. Not paying much mind to it, she went to her bedroom and lied on her bed. Since her dog was always underneath her bed, she let her arm hang off her bed and her hand was licked by it._

_"Good night Rex," she said to her dog as she drifted asleep._

_A few hours later, she awoke to a noise that startled her._

_Drip. drip. drip._

_"Ah, it must be the sink," she thought as she walked over to the bathroom. _

_Not even bothering to turn the light on in the completely dark room, she turned the water off completely and went back to her bed, letting her dog lick her hand once again before falling asleep._

_A few more hours later, the sound awoke her again._

_Drip. drip. drip._

_Once again, she turned off the water and went back to bed, letting her dog lick her hand before falling asleep._

_Then morning came. The noise appeared again._

_Drip, drip, drip._

_"Alright, I know I didn't leave the water running," she thought to herself as she walked to the bathroom once again._

_When she opened the bathroom door, she saw her dog pinned on the wall by its neck with a knife, and on the mirror read a message in the dog's blood:_

_HUMANS CAN LICK TOO._

**ooo**

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" I screamed as Sonic told the last part of the story.

Everyone was staring at me, and I could tell a few people were a bit scared too, but none of them could possibly have been as freaked out as me. Turning around in embarrassment, I ran over to my cabin; I simply couldn't take any more stories like that. After opening the door, I quickly started running upstairs, then hopped in my bed and covered my entire body in my dark red blanket. After a short while, I fell asleep.

**ooo**

I awoke to feel my hand being licked. I figured it was obviously my pet dog, Rush.

"You're a good boy, Rush," I said before suddenly realizing something terrifying.

I had left Rush with Roll during the summer; she was the one taking care of him, and there's no way he could have come to this camp.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" I screamed even louder than before, suddenly aware of the fact there was an intruder.

That was when Sonic jumped out from under the bed, laughing as hard as he could. "Man, that was hilarious! I got you good, didn't I, Megaman?"

Out of nowhere, the door slammed open. An armoured figure suddenly burst in and aimed at Sonic with an arm cannon; it was Samus!

"What's going on here!?" she questioned Sonic.

"I-It's nothing, really! I was just playing a joke on Megaman, that's all!" Sonic replied in fear.

Seeing I wasn't in any real harm, Samus lowered her weapon. "Leave for a minute."

"Y-You got it!" Sonic replied as he ran out the door and down the stairs.

Meanwhile, Samus walked over to me and took off her helmet. I noticed she had blue eyes and blonde hair that was in a ponytail with two locks on the side. As she spoke, her voice was now more clear considering the helmet gave her voice a bit of an odd filter. "Hey Megaman, I just came to see if you were alright."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, "I was just... well, I was a bit scared."

Samus nodded her head. "I see. It's alright Megaman, we all get afraid sometimes."

I sighed in response, I knew she was just patronizing me. "I know, it's pathetic; I defeated a mad scientist, but I couldn't even handle creepy stories told around a campfire."

"No, Megaman, it's really alright. Nobody's perfect, and nobody's born without fear. Certain things make some people afraid, and different things make other people afraid," she told me.

"R-Really? You mean it?" I asked, surprised that she wasn't ridiculing me.

"Yes Megaman, I do," she replied as she walked over to me and gave me a hug.

I hugged her back, and she spoke while we were embracing each other. "Don't let anybody make fun of you for it, okay? And if some jerks are ganging up and picking on you, just let me know. I'll be there for you, alright Megaman?"

"Y-Yeah. Thank you, Samus," I told her as she broke off the hug.

"Good night, Megaman," she said as she turned to leave.

"Good night to you too, Samus," I responded to her.

However, she turned around one more time and walked back up; clearly she had forgotten something. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot to give you something."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Well, I'm sure you want to pay back Sonic, so if you really want to scare him, just make sure he sees this picture," she replied as she handed me an image that seemed to be photoshopped.

I smiled at her as she left and closed my door. I fell asleep before Sonic and Crono even arrived.

**ooo**

**Sonic's POV**

Well, it was 6:00 AM; time for me to get up. Last night was certainly interesting, what with how I scared Megaman out of his mind and then nearly got blown up by Samus.

That aside, before anything else, I always made sure that I was wearing a good set of white gloves. I'm still not sure why I always wear white gloves; perhaps it's because I once believed they bring good luck and it became a habit. As I grabbed a pair of gloves off a small wooden table next to my bed, I noticed a shocking image; a photoshopped picture of me in the stupidest form I could think of, my ultimate nightmare.

There I was- in a retarded werewolf-like form.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" I screamed loud enough to wake the whole camp.

**ooo**

**Author's note: Well, I'm pretty satisfied with this chapter, I think it's better than the last one. What did you guys think? R & R please, and have a happy Halloween!**


	3. Kool-Aid Frenzy

**Fox McCloud's POV**

Kool-Aid is great. It comes in all sorts of flavours like orange, strawberry, cherry, kiwi, and my personal favorite, grape. What's more, it's easy to make and...

Okay, who am I kidding here? Kool-Aid tastes like piss. However, since we only have coffee mix, water and Kool-Aid mix here in cabin #2, Falco and I are kind of forced to drink Kool-Aid. We can't stand coffee, and water doesn't have much flavour.

Well, it was Falco's turn to make the Kool-Aid today, so after getting dressed in my usual suit, I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Today was sunday, so we were basically free for the day. Amy, Misty and Raiden were still in bed, so I got to turn on whatever channel I wanted as long as Falco didn't mind. As I turned on the movie channel to watch Star Trek 2 the Wrath of Kahn, Falco came in with two medium-sized glass cups of grape Kool-Aid. He handed me the cup in his left hand and I took a sip. I found it too plain; it just tasted like water with a little bit of sugar.

"Meh, it could use more sugar," I casually commented to Falco before he even sat next to me on the couch.

Falco, having such a short temper, was quick to respond. Setting his glass of grape juice on the small dark brown wooden table in front of us, he shouted "Screw you, this tastes like _actual _grape juice! My Kool-Aid is better than your's and you know it!"

I just sighed. "Does it really matter? We should just be enjoying this film. Besides, we both know that I make the better Kool-Aid."

Suddenly, Falco pushed over the small wooden table that was in front of us. The Kool-Aid glasses were knocked over on the wooden floor, causing it too become covered in grape Kool-Aid, and probably slippery while we're at it. The grape Kool-Aid even spread to the TV's wires, causing the TV to suddenly shut off.

"Falco, what the hell is wrong with y-" I began to yell at him as I stood up and confronted him.

He merely pushed me back down on the couch. "Who makes the better Kool-Aid now, bitch!?" he screamed at me loudly enough to wake an animal from hibernation.

I spat right in his face, my saliva hitting his left cheek. "Me, bitch!"

He took his right hand, made it into a fist and punched me in the stomach at full force, causing me to kneel over with my hand wrapped around my stomach. "Admit it, Fox! My Kool-Aid is far superior to yours! I put more sugar in it!"

I jumped back onto my feet, positioning myself into a fighting stance. "Then that must mean I don't put any sugar in my Kool-Aid!" I taunted.

That last line angered him to the point he pulled out his gun. His .44 magnum was aimed straight for my face at point-blank range.

"Eat this, bitch!" he shouted at me before pulling the trigger.

I was maybe 10 centimeters away from him at most, so I closed my eyes, knowing I was about to die. However, after hearing the bullet being shot, I realized I was still alive and opened my eyes. I can't stress this enough; I was right in front of him, and he _managed to miss._

However, the bullet _did _manage to go through the open window and hit Knuckles (who was just passing through and happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time) in his right knee.

I didn't have time to let the relief sink in that the window happened to be open and wasn't broken; in fear that Falco would shoot at me again, I pulled out the USP equipped with a silencer that was in my pocket, ducked down as he shot another bullet that merely got stuck in a tree, and proceeded to shoot at his face.

However, as much as I hate to say this, I made the exact same mistake as him, only this time the window wasn't open. My bullet travelled through the window, shattering the glass. Looking outside, I noticed it hit Slippy in the shoulder, prompting the other amphibian camper Glenn, who was standing right next to Slippy, to jump away in panic.

That was when I realized we would be in big trouble. Not only was there a window broken, but we shot two of our fellow campers!

Immediately, both of us knew what we had to do; we needed to bury Slippy and Knuckles so the evidence would be gone.

"Fox, we're gonna get into deep trouble here! Let's forget what just happened and call it truce!" Falco said to me.

I nodded in response. "R-Right!"

Just like that, we both rushed out the door, with the fact we shot at each other over Kool-Aid becoming trivial at this point. We went to the side of the cabin facing cabin #1 and I grabbed the shovel that was always leaning against it.

"Fox, let me do the honours; I'll be able to bury them faster," he demanded.

Falco had a legitimate point this time; he did indeed have more physical strength than I did. We quickly ran over to Knuckles, who was covering his wound with his left hand, causing his glove to turn red.

"Guys, please just take me to the doctor's office! I promise I won't report you," he begged.

I thought that over for a second. "Uh, Falco, should we really bury him? I mean it's really not that big of a deal; at least he wasn't shot in the head or heart, perhaps we should take him to get treatment-"

Falco suddenly interrupted me in mid-speech via hitting Knuckles over the head as hard as he could with the bottom of the shovel's sharp end. With that, Knuckles was knocked backwards, unconscious.

"Meh, it's better to kill him and get in no trouble than it is to help him and get in a bit of trouble," Falco advised.

Somehow, I agreed with him. "Yeah, you've got that right. Say, can I have the pleasure of hitting Slippy with that?" I asked.

Falco handed it to me, and with that we were off. We rushed over to our left until we reached Slippy. I stood in front of him, towering over the moronic toad who was holding on to his left shoulder with his right hand.

"Fox, Falco, could you maybe consider helping an old friend with his-" Slippy began before I hit him over the head with the shovel as hard as I could.

"WE ARE NOT FRIENDS!" I screamed louder than ever before, continuing to assault his head what must have been twenty more times before Falco grabbed my hand, forcing me to stop.

"Well, it looks like it's time to bury them," Falco told me.

**ooo**

We had done it. They had been buried behind our cabin. As we turned around and headed for the front door of cabin #2 to figure out how to fix the window so we wouldn't get in trouble, we saw Protoman and Samus blocking our path. As usual, both of them were in full suits of armour. Honestly, I'm not sure if I can even remember a time outside of gym where they showed their face (and that was only because they were required to expose their faces). Even then, Protoman always concealed his eyes with those dark black sunglasses. Seriously, who did this guy think he was? Racer X? If so, that would certainly explain why he was so protective of his little brother Megaman.

"So, would you like to tell us what's going on here?" Samus greeted us.

"We're just, y'know, doing stuff," I replied.

"You mean like burying your fellow campers after getting into a fight over _Kool-Aid_?" Protoman sarcasticly remarked to us.

"H-How did you know about the Kool-Aid?" Falco inquired.

"Well, I'm pretty sure the entire camp heard your fight, you little dumbasses," Samus responded.

"Then why didn't anybody come here immediately!?" I shot back.

"Because the gunshot probably scared everyone off. We would've came sooner, but I needed my bagel with cream cheese. I simply can't start off my mornings without a bagel with cream cheese," Protoman answered.

"That doesn't explain how you know about the buried bodies! How long were you watching us!?" Falco responded.

"We haven't been here long, we just knew about the bodies because you _buried them with their heads showing, _you goddamn morons! I can clearly see that they're even still breathing! How the hell could you possibly consider burying them with their heads showing like that anything more than a half-baked idea!?" Protoman ranted.

"Well, we kind of got tired of digging and figured that was good enough," Falco replied.

Protoman double facepalmed as Samus began to speak. "So, are we done playing twenty questions, or will you just give this up? I mean seriously, this is getting tedious."

Falco and I looked each other in the eye and nodded our heads in unison. The signal had been activated. Raising our hands into the air, I spoke to them.

"We surrender. We just ask that you TAKE THIS!" I told them, raising my voice at the end and pulling out my gun from my pocket once again.

I shot at Protoman, but he managed to reach behind his back, grab his shield and hold it in front of him a split second before my bullet shot out. His shield was obviously made of something strong, as my bullet deflected off of it.

Once the bullet deflected off of Protoman's shield, it was sent flying at Falco, hitting the middle of his left foot. Screaming in agony, Falco fell onto the ground, holding onto his foot with both hands.

"Hey Einstein, I'm on your side!" he remarked.

"Sorry, Falco! I meant to hit Protom-" I tried to apologize before suddenly being hit in the solar plexus with a plasma shot coming from Samus.

With that, I fell unconscious.

**ooo**

After Falco, Knuckles, Slippy and I were given treatment via hi-potions, we were sent to Scoutmaster Rayden's office. We were sitting on two small metallic stools in front of his in desk. Needless to say, we didn't have the warmest reception.

"I can't believe you two would do something like this," Scoutmaster Rayden told us.

"Look sir, we apologize for shooting Knuckles, but we will never say sorry for shooting Slippy," Falco replied.

"That's not what I'm really concerned about. What concerns me is the fact both of you _missed each other at point blank range,_" Rayden said to us.

His eyes were glowing blue, as if electricity was in his eyes- oh wait it was, but that's beside the point.

"Sir, we didn't mean to do this I sw-" I began to tell him before he got angry and slammed his hands on his desk.

"You were idiotic enough to pull out guns over an argument about Kool-Aid, you shot two of the campers with said guns, AND YOU BROKE A FUCKING WINDOW!" the thunder god yelled at us in a fit of rage.

"I was considering calling your parents at first, but I've decided against it," he informed us.

"R-Really?" I asked, relieved.

He smirked at us. "Yes, really. I've instead decided on another punishment. One far, far, worse."

"Y-You don't mean..." I began to say as his smile got wider.

"Both of you, report to Counselor Cossack's. Your punishment will unfold later."

**ooo**

**To be continued...**


	4. Crono Breaks

**Crono's POV:**

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

**ooo**

**Since Crono is a silent protagonist, we just figured that we'd just keep giving you chapters from his point of view. That way, you can use your imagination and we don't have to type so much!**

**...**

**Haha, gotcha! Happy April Fools!**

**We just wanted to let you know that the story is still alive, so just stay tuned because the next real chapter is coming this month for sure.**


	5. Kool-AIDs

**Fox's POV**

"Boys, why exactly did you two get into a fight that you felt was serious enough to require the use of firearms?" Dr. Cossack asked Falco and me in that thick Russian accent of his.

There we were, sitting on two wooden stools in front of Dr. Cossack's desk. His office was small, and a wide metal desk was the only thing inside of it besides some chairs and paperwork on the desk.

"Doctor, I always try to be nice to him," Falco told him in a pathetically bad not to mention obviously forced sad voice as he pretended to cry, "But he, well, he just pulled a gun on me because I made a casual comment about the Kool-Aid not being so good today."

"THAT'S A LOAD OF BULLSHIT!" I screamed at that blue bastard, "THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS ABOUT TO SAY!"

"Do you see, doc?" Falco began, "This guy is insane, he would have killed me if it wasn't for my dear friends Protoman and Samus!"

Just as I was about to jump out of my seat and bash his skull in, the door opened. With that, Scoutmaster Rayden had appeared.

"Everything has been set up boys. Come with me."

**ooo**

**Protoman's POV  
**

"I guess that's the last of the popcorn then," I commented.

"Dammit Proto, you ate almost all of that huge bowl and I barely had four bites," Samus replied, "You know, for a robot you're such a pig!"

I started giggling at that last statement of her's, to which she playfully hit me with her elbow. "That's not funny, you jerk."

Samus and I were simply sitting on the couch downstairs in our cabin, with Samus sitting on the middle cushion and me to her right. Nothing special was going on, we were just watching Gurren Lagann alone; nobody was there to disturb us considering that Knuckles was at Dr. Mario's office, Lloyd had already gone outside to look for the bullet casings or some other unimportant evidence, and Vivi was trying to find some duct tape (Or as he called it, "duck tape") to repair his staff. All was going as usual until out of nowhere we heard a loud, deep voice echoing throughout the cabin.

"Attention all campers: report to the gym. Repeat; all campers report to the gym. That includes you, Sonic," Scoutmaster Rayden announced over the intercom.

"Do you think this is about the incident that happened a couple of hours ago?" Samus asked me.

"Probably," I replied, "Well it's not like we have anything better to do than sit on our asses and watch this show. Let's just go."

With that, I stood up along with Samus, pressed the pause button on our remote and prepared to leave before noticing that I just so happened to pause it on a frame that zoomed in on Yoko's cleavage. I must have stared for a tiny bit little too long because after what was in reality only a few seconds (probably), I heard Samus' irritated voice calling out to me from outside the cabin "Come on, Proto! What's taking so long?"

"Nothing!" I blurted out as I sprinted towards the door, leaving cabin number four to and heading to the gym.

**ooo**

The gym was filled with Samus, me, and the twenty-two other campers who weren't sent to either Dr. Mario's office or Scoutermaster Rayden's office sitting on chairs facing the entrance. We were lined up in the middle of the room, six chairs in a row. Samus sat in the top-left chair with me to her right next to her, and my little brother Megaman was to my other side. All of us sat silently in front of Fox, Falco, Scoutmaster Rayden and Mr. Ryuzaki who were standing in front of a mic stand.

"Mortals," the scoutmaster began, "By now all of you must have heard of the incident that occured this morning, and so-"

"Hey, I didn't hear about what happened this morning because none of these jerks ever tell me any-" Raiden rudely interrupted the scoutmaster.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, NOBODY CARES YOU, YOU GODDAMN PUSSY!" Falco shouted at him.

"Falco you are already on thin ice as it stands, so I suggest you quiet down now," Rayden told the annoying falcon before turning to us, "As I was saying, by now most of you have heard of the incident that occured this morning. Fox and Falco, these rocket scientists, thought it would be a good idea to shoot at each other over a fight involving Kool-Aid, and because of their untrained use of dangerous firearms, they ended up shooting two of your fellow campers. I'm sure most of you can guess what this meeting is about."

"Let me guess, you're trying to protect us by informing us about how dangerous guns are," Ness replied in a pissed off tone.

"Are you kidding? Guns are fucking awesome!" the thunder god exclaimed, "As for what this is really about, these two will be informing you about the dangers of unprotected sex and STDs as punishment. Now, all of you are getting to the age where you start thinking about the opposite gender as attractive, and th-"

"But sir, I'm not attracted to other girls, I like other guys!" Simon Belmont shouted from the fourth row.

"Thank your for sharing this with us Simon, because we never could have guessed that from your long hair and skirt. Would anybody else like to interrupt me or shall we move on?" Scoutmaster Rayden remarked.

After a few seconds of silence, he continued. "As I was saying, you're getting to the age where you start thinking about the opposite gender, or for that matter, the same gender, as attactive, and therefore many of you are having, how shall I say this, impure thoughts, not to mention urges. Now, this is all natural, and there is nothing wrong with this, but you must be aware of the fact that there are dangers involved. I am leaving now, but I left Fox and Falco with a script which they shall read aloud to you. Don't worry about them screwing up; Mr. Ryuzaki will be here to help, and he is very reliable."

With that, he teleported away, a bright blue flash appearing for a split second. As Fox sighed and prepared to read the script he was given, Mr. Ryuzaki just snatched it from his hands right out of the blue and ripped it to shreds. I'd say all of were surprised, but in reality that was probably one of the least crazy things he had ever done. Well, Megaman was surprised since he still wasn't used to Mr. Ryuzaki's antics, but that was about it.

"What the hell was that about!?" Falco exclaimed, "Hey wait a minute, did you do that so we wouldn't have to give that speech? I guess we owe you one!"

"That's not why I did it," Mr. Ryuzaki replied in an emotionless tone, "The reason I did it was to teach you two a lesson. You can't just rely on a script to get through life, you need to take control and have confidence in your own abilities. In other words, you need to do this your way. Now, educate these young and impressionable campers the way you want, break away from the strings of your puppet master and become real boys!"

After a good half-minute of silence, Fox spoke again. "Sir, I have absolutely no idea what the hell you even just said, but that was... INSPIRING!"

"YEAH! Come on Fox, let's give this our all and inform these idiots about the dangers of unprotected sex!" Falco shouted at his best (not to mention only) friend.

With that, Mr. Ryuzaki headed for the exit, his hands in his pockets as he walked over to it a hunch. "Good luck boys! I'll be right back, I just need to check the reviews I got for my Rainbow Dash x Twilight Sparkles lemon," he called out to us, leaving the vast majority of us confused with his last sentence.

As soon as Mr. Ryuzaki left, Megaman raised his hand, presumably to ask a question.

"What is it, Megaman?" Falco asked.

"What is sex?" he replied.

"Well Megaman, sex is kind of like math. You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray to god that you don't end up multiplying," Falco answered him.

"But I like multiplication," Megaman replied, causing most of us to laugh so hard we burst into tears.

Fox, on the other hand, was clearly not amused. "Seriously Megaman, how old are you, twelve?"

"Actually he IS twelve," Samus and I informed him in unison.

"Oh. Well, that aside," Fox said, changing the subject, "Does anybody else have any questions?"

Quite a few hands shot up, but Raiden was chosen by Fox because his hand was the first to shoot up.

The blonde-haired wimp's question had to be heard to be believed. "Can you get an STD from masturbating to hentai?"

After practically every single person in the room had their face to their palm for a moment, Fox's only response was "What?"

"Well," he began to explain, "I've been masturbating to hentai so often lately, it's almost like I'm becoming one with the paper. So, what if the character I'm masturbating to has a case of herpes? Will I get a case of it too."

Raiden's explanation, besides making everyone slap their face with another hand, caused Falco to reply "You can't get an STD from that, you dumbass! I know that first-hand, my right hand to be precise."

"Are you sure, I mean-" Raiden began again before getting interrupted by Fox.

"SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU'RE LUCKY THAT SLIPPY DIDN'T DIE FROM THAT BULLET, BECAUSE IF HE DID YOU'D BE OUR FULL-TIME BUTT MONKEY RATHER THAN OUR SUBSTITUTE BUTT MONKEY!"

After Raiden burst into tears and ran to the exit whilst crying his heart out, Fox continued. "Okay, who here has a question that doesn't sound like it's from Yahoo Answers?"

Of course, I decided to raise my hand so that I could present a serious question and see how they would answer it, not that I expected their answers to be very intelligent.

"So if you love somebody who has an STD, then what?" I asked them.

"Then always use a condom!" Fox exclaimed.

"NO!" Paula shouted from out of nowhere, "Condoms should never be used under any circumstances!"

Before I could interject and say that was the stupidest thing I had ever heard, Falco beat me to it.

"Paula's right about that, condoms reduce the pleasure! It feels better without wearing them!"

"That's not why you idiot," the religious nut began, "Condoms are a sin against God! Sexual intercourse should only be done to reproduce, not for pleasure!"

"Oh please, that's even dumber than what Falco just said," Marle replied.

Ness, who we all knew had a crush on Paula but would never admit it, threw his two cents in. "I'm with Paula on this one!"

"Ness, you agree with Paula on _everything, _I remember that you once enjoyed playing violent video games, but you gave it up when she fed you some bullshit about how killing people in video games is just as bad as killing people in real life!" Misty pointed out, "Just because you're in love with her doesn't mean that you have to stick up for everything she says!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ness replied.

"Oh come on, it's so obvious that you like her even that even Helen Keller could see-" Misty tried to say before Ness interrupted her by covering his ears and screaming "LA-LA-LA-LA-LA" as loud as he could.

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

With that, everybody went into a state of silence.

"It looks like asking that question wasn't the smartest move I ever made," I said, "But at least all of you didn't get into some stupid religious debate."

"Protoman is right, he shouldn't have asked that question," Zelda said, "A better question would be, how would you prevent getting an STD, and how would you be able to tell if your partner has one?"

"Okay," Fox began to tell us, "I guess the best way to tell whether or not somebody had an STD would be to visit the doctor or something. However, some STDs don't have any visible symptoms until some time after they are actually received. So even if someone does have an STD, it might be impossible to tell."

"Exactly," Falco continued, "And let's face it, you can't keep an eye on your partner all the time, so who's to say that she won't cheat on you behind your back or use a dirty needle while you're not there? Since we already know that we shouldn't use condoms but want to be safe, the best thing to do would be to trap her in a closet or basement for a few months, then visit the doct-"

"EXCUSE ME!?" every single one of the girls in the room shouted out, clearly pissed off at Falco's attitude.

"You are so sexist, why do WE have to be the ones locked up in the basement!?" Peach yelled at him.

"Because girls cheat more, you're just better at hiding it," Falco replied.

"Falco you bastard, I should have blown you to smithereens when I had the chance!" Samus screamed at him.

Before the girls could yell at Falco anymore, a blue flash appeared and Scoutmaster Rayden had teleported back.

"Everyone, there is an emergency situation. A portal has just emerged, and an endless swarm of enemies are heading in our direction."

"Enemies? What do you mean by that?" Zidane questioned him.

"Outside, there is an endless swarm of... My elder gods, it is painful just to say..."

"Sir, who are these enemies!?" Zidane demanded.

"Call of Duty fanboys."

**ooo**

**To be continued...**


End file.
